"I am trying to create marriage between a man and a women right now and I am faa-reeaking out!" cried a booming voice through the clouds. Jesus shielded his eyes from the sun.
"W-What's the problem father?" Jesus asked as he stepped up on a rock in the desert, as though hoping to bring himself a bit closer to the heavens.
"Well, I'm supposed to create marriage between a man and a woman for humankind by tomorrow but none of the one million four hundred forty six thousand two hundred and eight streamers are ready, the centerpieces for all the weddings are all wrong -- they went with fuschia instead of burgandy, even though I specifically told them burgandy-- and only half the cakes are ready! This is a DISASTER!" The ground rumbled. Jesus held on to a desert rock beside him as he waited for the ground to quell.
"Dad, have faith in yourself. Everything will be fine."
"I know," said God, with a sigh that brought a warm breeze across Jesus' facial hair.
"Don't be a Godzilla. We don't want a repeat of the Noah fiasco. Tell you what, leave all of the preparations to the humans."
"The humans? They can't do anything right. They can't even walk two steps without letting the devil into their hearts."
"Exactly. And that's something they'll have to overcome in their weddings! If they can't overcome that for love, then their love isn't strong and they don't deserve marriage!"
God laughed heartily. Thunderclouds shooting bolts appeared briefly as he guffawed, and then vanished. "Sometimes it takes the innocence of a child."
"Dad, I'm twenty-nine..!"
"Well I'm infinity, little boy!" God chuckled again and a lightning bolt struck down nearby. Jesus winced.
"Careful, Dad! Oh, and really quick -- what about same sex marriage? My friend Profethius and his boyfriend Amfthius wanted me to ask..."
"I like your idea, son, let's leave that to the humans. It'll be another test, a great test, to see how far their capacity for love for their fellow man goes..."
Jesus kicked a grain of sand. "It's going to cause some problems..."
"Again, their love for each other will have to overcome that!" God said.
"And Dad, real quick before you go, what about interspecial marriage? Can humans marry their mule?"
Thunderclouds formed again and bolts shout out of the sky as God's explosive laughter filled the heavens. "Good one, son. That's why I keep you around!"
Jesus winked.
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